Gun Shots

Originally posted in late July or 2008.

On July 16, I had lunch with my friend, C. I asked her if she would be interested in telling a story for my project. She agreed, but said that she didn't know any funny stories. I told her that everyone has funny stories that they would love to share, and to be honest, I would love to get a good serious story. Nothing could have prepared me for the story she then told.

At several points, she restarted thoughts and sentences. Considering the moments that she was recalling, I'm amazed that she was able to tell the story so clearly. Twice in the story, I have added subjects to sentences that may otherwise have appeared confusing. These instances are marked by parenthesis. Otherwise, these are C's exact words.

The summer of 2004, that would be the year that I would be a freshman in the fall. My Mom, she went out; she told us we couldn't go out. It was about twelve o'clock, so I snuck out the house, and I was outside with my friends, and I had like this funny feeling that I should go back home. And I was like, I want to get there before she do.

I'm on my way, well, actually one of my friends stopped me again, so we were talking. Like I said, the whole time I just had a feeling that I shouldn't be where I was.

So, out of nowhere there's gun shots that go out. So now we all... everybody was running, screaming everywhere, but I couldn't run because I already knew that I was hit. So, I just stood there cause I was scared. I knew... when I was little, I thought that if you moved like it would travel and you would instantly die or something. So I wouldn't move. I was just like walking, and my friends were screaming like, "Run! Run!" They're like already at doors and stuff.

So I'm like, "I can't run! I can't run!" But as I'm like I'm walking, I can still... I can feel more shots like hitting my body, but it's like... it's like they felt like... I didn't know how many cause I was scared. I wouldn't look down. I didn't want to see it or nothing. All I could think about was my Mom telling me not to leave out the house, and I wasn’t supposed to be out the house.

So now I'm blaming myself. I'm scared. Now the only thing I want to do is go to sleep, but you know, now I'm stuck or whatever. So, I walked to my friend house. It was like half a block from where I was, or whatever. So when I got there, I kind of like collapsed on her couch.

And I thought that, because I could feel the one in my chest... and I knew there was other ones, I can only... I thought that one… It felt like a blow. It was like I could barely talk, so I knew that one was there. And my arm was stinging, so I knew there was one in my arm too. But I thought that was it.

So, I was laying there, and I could hear my sister screaming. Somebody went and got my sister, and I was just thinking like I know how upset she is, cause she's my big sister and my Mom's going to be mad at her, or whatever. And I could just see everybody like around me, just looking at me, or whatever. And like my eyes were... they were... they were shutting on me. I kept trying to open them, and I could feel my sister crying.

And I don't know what happened, but I just like... I kind of woke up for like just a second, or whatever, to the paramedic cutting my shirt off. And even then, I was embarrassed. I'm like, "There's boys in this room!"

And like I wasn't really thinking of the things you might have thought I was thinking. I was thinking like, "This shirt. This is my favorite shirt, and it's ruined," or whatever. "There's blood all over this lady's couch." Just thinking crazy things.

And the paramedics, they came like... no exaggerating, probably about twenty-five minutes later. And my sister was arguing with them, cause she was telling them like, you know, "She was shot!" and this and that.

And he was like, "Well, it's not going to make anybody come any quicker. I'm here now, so..."

So I get in the ambulance, and my Step Father, they wake him up, and he gets in with me. My Mom, she's out so she doesn't even know, and she didn't have a cell phone so everybody's trying to find her. They're riding around looking for her.

Of course they didn't find her. They were just trying to ride some random clubs, but when they found her my sister was like... I guess she went off, smacking my sister, yelling, screaming, you know, angry, frustrated or whatever. But, once I got out of surgery the next day, that's when I saw her.

(We) head to the hospital, and I remember... I think I remember taking my jewelry off my hands and telling me what they were going to do before they put me to sleep.

When I woke up, I found out that I had been shot five times, and I had four out of the five bullets which were used... I had one left in my liver. And I was hospitalized for about six, seven days, like a week, or whatever, give or take a day. (I was shot in) my chest, my back, my arm, my stomach, and my side.

And it's just like... it was like a... kind of like a out of body experience where I thought I was dying. And they say your mind goes blank, but it didn't. So I guess I was thinking all of these weird stupid things like, you know, just nothing other... I didn't even think if I was going to be ok... cause I didn't, actually. I thought I was gone. I was dead, or whatever. But... I don't know.

At this point, I asked C. a few questions. The first of which was, "Did you ever find out who was shooting?"

Yeah, I figured all of it out. I did, like I said, cause I wasn't running, we were like face eye to eye. We saw each other. So, it was all so crazy cause he live like... It was opposite gangs: where I stay and like a block away a different gang. So he was from a different gang, and I recognize his face from going to like the grocery store and stuff.

So when the paramedics... I mean, when the detectives came in to visit me in the hospital, whatever, they was asking me like, "Do you know who did this?"

And I was like, you know, "Yeah, I know."

And he was like, "Who?"

And I gave him a name of the person, and the kind of car they were driving, and he's like, "Are you sure?"

And I'm like, "I'm sure."

And he's like, "Are you positive? Because it makes no sense for you to lie," and then I got angry, and I'm like, "Why you think I would lie?" You know, he didn't believe me, so after that, I pretty much... I stopped talking. I wouldn't answer anything else he said. But they never got locked up, never no time, no trouble, or nothing.

After that, I don't think I went outside until like March my sophomore year or something. I wouldn't go outside, I wouldn't go to the door, I wouldn't look out the window... just to school. And back then, I road the bus.. but because I was like that, my Mom always... they had somebody... because we didn't have a car... to pick me up to take me. But... grew out of it, I guess.

But I just got over... It was like, well I guess that'd be for anybody in that situation, just startled at the gunshots. It make me panic, I guess. I can't explain how I get. I shake.

I asked her if she thought he was aiming at her, specifically.

See, when they get into wars like around where I was at, there was like... nobody scream like, you know, tell the kids, "Go in the house." If you was outside, you were a target. And even like, you know, they can't believe that but it's serious, cause like they'd kill like the dogs, the cats, just... If you left your dog outside, you know, it'd be dead the next day; shot in the head or something.

And it was just like... I myself, personally, I think once he saw me and we locked eyes, that he was trying to kill me. But I never fell, or whatever. Like I said, I could feel the shots, or whatever, but I never fell. And I remember him, just like it was yesterday, he shot and like I was trying to... I wasn't running... but I was trying to moving along the side of the wall; trying to get away from him. And you could hear like sirens in the distance, which I don't know where they came, cause they never came. But he eventually ran away, or whatever. But I saw his face, which I said I knew him, the car he was driving, the color, the year, the make. We locked eyes. I seriously think he was trying to hurt me once he realized that I saw him.

But the night that it happened, we were the only kids outside. Even it was like twelve or one, you know. There were no adults outside. I think that anybody could have seen that we were just kids.

So many questions have come to mind since hearing C. tell this story. I was so shocked, at lunch that day, that I didn't even think to ask in what city these events took place. Now, I'm torn between my desire to know the answer and my hesitation to continue to remind C. of that night. I am thrilled that she had the courage to share her story with me in the first place.