Mustard

Originally posted in August of 2008.

For some years, my Dad's position with the Hardees company consisted of traveling to new stores and acting as manager as the store was getting off the ground. This story takes place in 1991 or '92, at a Hardees in Illinois that had only opened their doors about a year or so earlier.

Mark Heil. I think it was his first name; Heil was his last name: H.E.I.L. He's a good kid, you know? He's probably seventeen or eighteen maybe. Maybe sixteen, seventeen, I'm not sure, but he was a high school kid.

And, I think it was a Saturday, for some reason. It was a weekend day, because he typically didn't work with me. He'd usually work in the evenings. But he was working with me on this particular day, and I'm looking for things to keep everybody busy. And the three compartment sink, the stainless steel sink, back where all the dishes are done, gets pretty nasty underneath of it. You know, the legs get all grungy; you slop a mop up against them, and then it just gets the junk from the dirty mop and the broom. But, you know, if someone takes the time to clean it up, you know, it's stainless steel, it'll shine up pretty nice. Not just that, but the wall underneath of it, the base boards, and all that stuff.

And I'm telling this kid, that I want him to do me a favor, "I would like you to clean up this area. I'd like the table legs clean, and I'd like the baseboards clean, and I'd like the floor scrubbed real good. I'd just like the whole area shining." And while I'm talking, I apparently have picked up a mustard packet, you know, sitting on the floor, someplace. But someplace, I had picked up a mustard packet, and while I'm talking I'm pointing at the things like, you know, like the legs, the sink, and the baseboard, and the floor. I'm pointing at it with this mustard packet, so I'm kind of shaking a mustard packet at these things, as like, as I'm talking about it, "I'd just like everything nice and shiny, so you know, if you could do me a favor, get it all cleaned up, I'd appreciate it."

He goes, "Well, what do you want me to clean it with? ...Mustard?"

And I look down, and I realize that I have this mustard packet in my hand, and I just kind of chuckled, and I said "Yeah," and I walked away.

I go back about five minutes later, ten minutes later, whatever, and this kid has a gallon of mustard opened up, and he has got mustard spread over the wall, and the legs, of this sink, on the floor. He has got a gallon of mustard spread just all over everything. And I went back, and I was starting to laugh, and I said, "You're going to get this stuff all washed off of here, right?" And he just says "Yeah."

And the next time I go back, he has it all rinsed off, and it was as clean as hell.